While most of high school is a faded memory, I remember bits and pieces of my time there vividly.
I remember graduation.
I was standing outside of Central Decatur High School in the receiving line. Many families, friends, teachers, and everyone else from town was going through the line. Many of my friends were crying. Many were laughing. I was emotionless. Too tough to cry. Not letting on in the least bit that I had feelings. When asked, I talked about how I was sooo glad to be graduating and how I couldn't wait to leave town. The truth is I was scared. Terrified of the unknown. Afraid to be alone.
At church that week the graduates were introduced in front of the congregation and given a gift. As I walked out of church that week something told me that was it. I remember feeling so afraid as I walked out. I remember the drive home telling myself how stupid that feeling was. I would be in town all summer and would still be going to church. But after that day, it never felt the same.
There were no small groups that summer. No Bible studies. No youth outings that I attended. I sat in the pew on Sunday mornings. But it never felt the same.
You see, I started attending church in middle school with my friend's family (a family that played an integral part in God's plan for my life). Something told me that day as I left church I knew I'd spend more time in "my mom's church" than "my church" as I went home for breaks from college.
Unfortunately, that feeling was right.
My senior year of high school was the last time I did a Bible study. While I feel I've grown sooo much in my relationship with God since then, the thought of joining a new Bible study makes me anxious. I am scared. I am nervous. I am afraid of the unknown.
But it's exciting. I know He has something to tell me and I don't want to miss it.
Esther starts tonight at 6:30.
Would you pray for me? Would you pray that my heart be open and that I really hear what God has to say to me?
How can I pray for you today?