Monday, September 21, 2009

My History

My history, the ugly parts of my present, and how they all fit into the Big Picture.....

The Big Picture. I've posted about it before on the Hickstionary here. But God is not yet finished telling me what He has to say about it.

This week at Beth Moore, I heard something about this differently than I had thought of it before.

Sure, I know everything fits into the big picture and that God works all things together for good for those that love Him (Romans 8:28). This is so uplifting to hear when we are in the middle of grieving. All things will work together for good. They are just bumps in the road that God will take care of on the way to the Big Picture. Right? Not so much...

You see, God has a destiny for me. He knows what my destiny is. He has the plans in place and is pushing me through the path of my destiny every day. And those bumps in the road? They aren't actually just inconveniences that are slowing me down on the way. They are a part of His plan. A part of my destiny.

"The grand ending to our destiny doesn't happen in spite of those challenges, it often happens because of those challenges."

Because of them.

Really? God knew those were a part of the plan and He was okay with that? His plan included for me to be hurt? In pain? To struggle?

I look to friends and family that are hurting right now. This is a part of His plan?

There are things in my past I'm not proud of. Things from my past I'd like to forget. People that hurt me, and people I've hurt. I'd like to forget about them. Erase them from my history.

But as much as I may want to, I cannot amputate my history from my destiny.

It is a part of me. It is where I came from. It is part of the reason I am who I am today. I learned from it. I'm growing from it. I am working towards fulfilling my destiny because of those painful puzzle pieces from my past. I remember the pain, as if God is saying, "Don't forget what I dragged you out of!" In Beth's study, she says, God is attracted to weakness- there is more room there for the strength of God. It's often those painful times in our lives that draw us closer to Him.

So whether you are in a period of grieving, remembering a period of grieving, or heading towards a period of grieving, remember His word,
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." --Jeremiah 29:11


  1. Heidi,

    Your post makes me think of being a mom (or, for that matter, a teacher). As a mom of a nine-month-old, I know that as Matthew learns to walk I need to childproof things, I need to have gates on the stairs so that he can't fall, covers on the outlets so he doesn't electrecute himself, etc. But, he is still going to fall. He has to fall. Otherwise how would he learn balance and be able to walk. He has to run into things, otherwise how would he know that it hurts and he's not supposed to. Someday when he's riding a bike, we'll have to take his training wheels off, and we know that he's going to skin his knees, so we could keep him within our protection forever, but he would never grow and he would never learn. Think about our mom's the first time we drove away in the car on our own. Of course they didn't want to let us go! We could get hurt, someone could hit us and what if we didn't come home? The same can be said for God the Father. Of course He doesn't want us to get hurt, of course He doesn't want to let go, of course He doesn't ever want us to drive away, because what if we go the wrong path or run in to the wrong person and we don't return home? But if He doesn't, we'll never grow, never mature in our faith, etc.

    As a teacher, you give instructions. Some of your students respect them and follow them and for the most part excell. Others listen half-way and they do all right. Others don't listen at all and their project doesn't even resemble what you had planned...

    So, long story short - I think it is all of these bumps along the way, and the giants in our lives. They cause complacency. They make us wonder why. We can either face them wrapped in the comfort of HIS arms, knowing the He crys with us when we hurt, because that's not the way He wanted it, and then rejoice with Him when the lesson is learned - or - we can reject Him, resent Him, and continue down the path that doesn't lead home...

  2. Stopping by to say hello from Walk with Him Wed.
    all the best, Maria

  3. Welcome, Maria! Amazing post today, we would LOVE to have you guest blog here sometime! Thanks for visiting! Your post today, was beautiful!